When Back To School Brings More Than A New Routine
Understanding the connection between family violence, stress, and the return to school
Back to school season is often described as a fresh start. For many families, it can bring excitement, new routines, school supplies, lunches, forms, transportation plans, and full calendars. It can also bring stress. Alberta Health Services recognizes that as children get ready to return to school, parents and caregivers face not only a new routine, but also a growing list of things to do, which can feel overwhelming (Alberta Health Services, n.d.).
For families impacted by family violence, this season can carry added layers. A school supply list may bring financial pressure. Drop off and pick up may involve safety concerns. School emails, parent portals, emergency contacts, or permission forms may become sensitive if someone is monitoring communication. A child or teen may return to class carrying stress that is not visible from the outside.
Back to school does not cause family violence. Family violence is rooted in patterns of power, control, coercion, fear, and harm. However, the return to school can add pressure to homes where violence, control, or instability already exists. It can also make the impacts of family violence more visible for children, youth, parents, caregivers, teachers, and the people around them.
At The Today Centre, we understand that safety can be affected by many parts of daily life, including school routines, transportation, communication, finances, and access to support.
Back to School Stress Can Add Pressure
The return to school can affect many areas of family life. Alberta Health Services’ back to school resources note topics such as stress, bullying, cyberbullying, online safety, sleep, self-esteem, teen issues, sexual health, sexting, and executive functioning (Alberta Health Services, n.d.). These topics show that back to school is not only about supplies and schedules. It can also involve emotional, social, financial, and developmental pressures.
For someone experiencing family violence, everyday school related responsibilities may be connected to safety and control. A caregiver experiencing financial abuse may not have access to money for school supplies, clothing, lunches, field trips, or transportation. A parent may need to think carefully about who is listed as an emergency contact or who is allowed to pick up a child. A caregiver may worry that school communication could reveal their location, schedule, or plans. A parent may avoid school events because the person causing harm may also attend.
These pressures do not cause abuse, and stress does not excuse abusive behaviour. But stressful seasons can create more moments where control, fear, conflict, or risk may show up in practical ways.
This is why back to school can be an important time to think not only about routines, but also about safety, support, and access to resources.
How Family Violence Can Affect Children and Youth at School
Family violence can affect children and youth even when they are not the direct target of the abuse. Research on domestic violence and education explains that violence in children’s lives can disrupt schooling, harm educational experiences and outcomes, and create emotional trauma, physical and psychological barriers to learning, and disruptive behaviour at school. The underlying causes of these challenges may not always be visible to teachers or school staff (Lloyd, 2018).
For younger children, the impact may show up as difficulty separating from a caregiver at drop off, crying, clinginess, fear of being away from home, sleep disruptions, stomach aches, headaches, tantrums, or difficulty with transitions. Lloyd notes that young children exposed to domestic violence may experience separation anxiety, withdrawal, anxiety, repetitive play, regressive behaviour, sleep problems, tantrums, and challenges coping with transitions (Lloyd, 2018).
For school aged children, family violence may affect concentration, attendance, sleep, confidence, behaviour, and learning. A child may fall asleep in class, struggle to complete homework, withdraw from friends, become more reactive, worry about a parent or sibling, or feel anxious about going home after school. Research connects domestic violence with non-attendance, attention and concentration difficulties, sleep disturbance, withdrawal, insecurity, depression, low self-esteem, changes in conduct, aggression, anger, and hyperactivity (Lloyd, 2018).
For teens, the impact may look different. A teen may miss class, arrive late, fall behind on assignments, seem angry or withdrawn, experience anxiety, have difficulty trusting adults, or take on responsibility for younger siblings or a parent. Older youth may also be managing peer pressure, online safety concerns, cyberbullying, sexting, self-esteem, relationships, and digital communication, all of which are included in Alberta Health Services’ back to school health resources (Alberta Health Services, n.d.).
Some children and youth who witness or experience family violence may also experience trauma responses that affect sleep, concentration, emotional regulation, anxiety, and their sense of safety at school.
These signs do not automatically mean family violence is happening. Children and youth can struggle for many reasons. But when changes in learning, attendance, behaviour, mood, concentration, or relationships appear alongside other concerns, it may be a sign that more support may be needed.
Learning is Harder When Safety Feels Uncertain
When a child or youth is worried about what is happening at home, what might happen after school, or whether someone they care about is safe, it can be hard to focus on learning.
A student may seem distracted because their mind is elsewhere. They may forget instructions because they are overwhelmed. They may react strongly to raised voices, conflict, sudden changes, or feeling trapped. A teen may miss deadlines because home is not a safe, quiet, or predictable place to complete schoolwork.
Healthy Parents Healthy Children explains that some stress is part of healthy development because it helps children learn how to adapt. However, toxic stress can negatively affect a child’s brain, memory, and lifelong health, especially when stress is constant, intense, and unsupported (Factors That Affect Child Development – Healthy Parents, Healthy Children, n.d.).
This does not mean a child or youth cannot learn, heal, or succeed. It means support, safety, stability, and caring adults matter.
A child who is struggling at school may not be careless. A teen who is falling behind may not be lazy. A student who is reactive may not be trying to be difficult. Sometimes, behaviour is a signal that a young person is carrying more than others can see.
Parents and Caregivers May be Carrying More Than People Realize
Back to school can also be difficult for parents and caregivers experiencing family violence. A caregiver may be trying to keep routines stable while also navigating fear, control, housing concerns, financial abuse, transportation barriers, legal conditions, or co-parenting safety concerns.
A parent may be trying to communicate with the school while also thinking about what information is safe to share. They may worry about drop off, pick up, parent-teacher meetings, school events, or who has access to their child’s records. A caregiver may not respond to a school email because their devices or accounts are being monitored. A parent may miss a school meeting because attending is not safe. A caregiver may feel shame about not being able to afford supplies or activities.
These situations can be misunderstood from the outside. What may look like disorganization, disengagement, or lack of follow through may actually be connected to safety, control, trauma, or barriers that are not visible.
At The Today Centre, we meet people where they are. Our role is not to judge someone’s situation or tell them what they should do. Our role is to help people explore options, think through safety, understand risk, and connect to resources that may support their next steps.
Teachers and School Staff Can be Important Points of Connection
Teachers, school counsellors, administrators, and office staff are not expected to solve family violence. They are not family violence specialists. But they may be among the first people outside the home to notice when something has changed.
Lloyd’s review explains that schools are often the service in closest and longest contact with children living with domestic violence. The review also notes that teachers can play an important role in helping families access support, while recognizing that school staff may not always feel confident identifying signs or knowing referral pathways (Lloyd, 2018).
A teacher may notice a student is suddenly withdrawn, tired, reactive, or often absent. A school office may notice repeated late arrivals, early pickups, or confusion around who can pick up a child. A counsellor may hear a student say they are worried about home. A teacher may notice a student becomes anxious near the end of the day.
School staff do not need to have all the answers. What matters is noticing changes, responding without judgment, following school policies, documenting concerns appropriately, and knowing how to connect students and families to specialized support.
When schools, service providers, and community supports understand how family violence can affect learning and wellbeing, families may have more opportunities to be met with care instead of judgment.
Safety Planning Can Include School Routines
Safety planning is not only about emergencies. It can also include the practical details of everyday life, including school.
For back to school, safety planning may include reviewing who is approved to pick up a child, updating emergency contacts, thinking about what information is shared through school apps or parent portals, planning for school events where both caregivers may attend, identifying a trusted adult at school, talking through safe transportation, and considering what a child or teen can do if they feel unsafe before or after school.
Every situation is different. Safety planning should not be about telling someone what they have to do. It should be about exploring options, identifying risks, and supporting a person’s choices based on their circumstances, needs, and safety concerns.
At The Today Centre, our Family Violence Specialists can support with safety planning, risk assessment, education on family violence, and connection to resources.
The Effects Can Reach Beyond One Person
Family violence can affect many people connected to a family, including children, youth, parents, caregivers, siblings, teachers, classmates, service providers, and community supports.
A sibling may take on a protective role. A teen may feel responsible for younger children. A teacher may be trying to support a student while also managing the needs of the whole class. A friend may notice changes but not know what to say. A caregiver may be trying to work with the school while staying safe.
The impact is not the same for everyone, and not everyone will show distress in the same way. Some people may talk about what is happening. Others may stay quiet. Some children may act out. Others may try to disappear into the background.
Recognizing these layers can help the adults around children and youth respond with more care and less judgment.
How The Today Centre Can Support
Support can look different depending on the situation.
It may look like a caregiver contacting The Today Centre before or during the school year to talk through concerns. It may look like building a safety plan around drop off and pick up. It may look like exploring transportation, communication, or financial barriers. It may look like identifying what information may need to be shared with school staff. It may look like connecting to resources, planning for risk, or talking through what feels possible one step at a time.
The Today Centre offers non-judgmental support for adults, with or without children, who are targeted by family violence. Support is available regardless of situation, gender, sexual orientation, ethnicity, culture, or religion. Our Family Violence Specialists can help through a variety of programs and services at no cost.
The Today Centre also offers programs that reduce barriers related to communication, financial safety, and transportation, including Lives on the Line, Safe at Last, and Safety in Motion.
If you or someone you know is in immediate danger, call 911.
A Supported Start to the School Year
Back to school can bring excitement, pressure, uncertainty, and change. For families impacted by family violence, it may also bring safety concerns, emotional stress, disrupted schooling, barriers to learning, and practical challenges that are not always visible.
A supported start to the school year does not mean everything is easy. It means families, children, youth, teachers, service providers, and community members understand that there may be more happening than what can be seen from the outside.
It means noticing changes without rushing to judgment. It means understanding that stress, trauma, and safety concerns can affect learning, behaviour, attendance, concentration, and wellbeing. It means knowing that support is available.
As routines change and the school year begins, support can help families think through safety, reduce barriers, and connect to resources one step at a time.
Help starts today.
References
Alberta Health Services. (n.d.). Back to School Health - Families | Alberta Health Services. https://www.albertahealthservices.ca/info/Page2542.aspx
Factors that affect child development – healthy parents, healthy children. (n.d.). Healthy Parents Healthy Children. https://www.healthyparentshealthychildren.ca/im-a-parent/overview-of-parenting/factors-that-affect-child-development
Lloyd, M. (2018). Domestic Violence and Education: Examining the impact of domestic violence on young children, children, and young people and the potential role of schools. Frontiers in Psychology, 9, 2094. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2018.02094